By Robin Erb

Detroit Free Press Medical Writer

Virginia Everett, 85, had something that many other nursing home residents don’t: a daughter and grandchildren who lived nearby and dropped in frequently. “I love ‘em,” she said of her visitors.

And that, experts say, is immeasurably more important than polished lobbies, state-of-the-art whirlpool tubs and, in some cases, even a near-spotless inspection report or high ratings by the U.S. Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services.

In fact, the Whitehall Healthcare Center of Novi, where Everett was a longtime resident until her death in June, has had its share of citations from state inspectors. And Whitehall receives just two stars overall in a U.S. five-star rating system, with five serious violations in the last three years.

But the experience of Everett and her family underscores this advice from experts both inside and out of the nursing home industry: A home’s ranking and history on health and safety measures is important in choosing a nursing home, but so is the unspoken message that family visits send to staff: “Someone cares about this person. Someone may complain if care is unacceptable.”

“The best nursing home in the world is the one where you can stop by on a regular basis,” said Mt. Clemens attorney Patrick Simasko, who helps families prepare their finances for long-term care.

Patient advocates say the best sign of a good home is how actively the staff encourages involvement by loved ones. A good home includes residents and their families in developing care plans. Staff members encourage them to ask questions.

Cheryl Deep, 55, Everett’s daughter, checked out a handful of other homes several years ago when her mother first stepped into the revolving door of emergency rooms and long-term rehabilitation after health issues began setting in. Deep would size up each facility, knowing it might be the last stop for her mother, a retired construction company owner who began drifting in and out of reality this year.

“I saw some of the really pretty, newer ones and some of the older places, too,” she said.

Ultimately, Deep made her decision as many family members do — in crisis, after another hospital stay following heart problems.

“It was clear she couldn’t come home,” Deep said. “Honestly, she was fading very fast and we thought we only had a month or so left. Her lungs were filling with fluid. So we thought, it didn’t matter so much where as long as we can see her often.”

Four years later, her mom was still at Whitehall, and Deep was happy. Deep said she saw her mother several times a week before she died from an acute kidney infection. By then, Deep knew the staff well. They smiled and joked with Everett. When Deep asked about a scabbed-over scrape on her mother’s leg — staff said it came from a run-in with a door frame — her mom was certain it happened on a recent hike on a mountain.

Deep, who was interviewed by the Free Press before her mother died, chuckled at the thought of her mother mountain climbing. She knew the staff and trusted them.

“They’ll reference to something else in her day — maybe her breakfast or lunch or something she said earlier. So clearly they’ve been there and they’ve paid attention,” Deep said. “That means a lot.”

Contact Robin Erb: 313-222-2708 or rerb@freepress.com